At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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