just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
