I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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