I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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