I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Terrible idea I love it
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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