i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
