I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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