Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
