WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
