recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
