i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
