the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
