I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
