I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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