he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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