Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
