the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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