Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
