He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.