Whod you bang
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.