But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
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you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
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lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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