you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
