Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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