I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
