Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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