I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
