finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
