I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
