she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
