She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
