margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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