can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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