She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
