She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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