Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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