I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
