Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
