she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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