I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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