You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just puked most of my soul out..
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
