so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
