Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
