Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
