why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
