At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
