I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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