we have pet lesbian snakes
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
