She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
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