I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
