well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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