Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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