you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
