Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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