He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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