Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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