just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
