Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch