she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name