Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner http://tfl.nu/6elk
  Replies (2) Good night (2833) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!" (1-513): You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks. http://tfl.nu/bvbo
  Replies (30) Good night (788) Bad night (1719)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters. http://tfl.nu/h38s
  Replies (23) Good night (2976) Bad night (1865)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes. http://tfl.nu/38if
  Replies (11) Good night (4453) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE. http://tfl.nu/ha03
  Replies (21) Good night (4423) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee http://tfl.nu/8pkh
  Replies (20) Good night (1855) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem http://tfl.nu/va1i
  Replies (10) Good night (1645) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60 http://tfl.nu/6i7r
  Replies (10) Good night (1420) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures. http://tfl.nu/io2e
  Replies (3) Good night (1712) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): She had caution tape on her head and she blew me. http://tfl.nu/1dhj
  Replies (8) Good night (1578) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise. http://tfl.nu/8q09
  Replies (4) Good night (615) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...? http://tfl.nu/7ruq
  Replies (8) Good night (913) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird... http://tfl.nu/escp
  Replies (4) Good night (618) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Blow job season was short but glorious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Blow job season was short but glorious. http://tfl.nu/338e
  Replies (8) Good night (573) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person. http://tfl.nu/07yn
  Replies (6) Good night (816) Bad night (329)

Randomize