This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We had to coat check the pizza.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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