I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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