____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We need to get me chipped asap
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
