Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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