When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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