oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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