Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
