this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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