I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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