i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
organizing the empties. That sober.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
