I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
dude. I can hear the air.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
