Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
