So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
